Luffyko's Adventures in a Marriage Plot
by Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin
Summary: Nami is a socialite's daughter who is getting married to a celebrity chef who likes his women and smokes like a chimney. Monkey D. Luffyko is the new girl in town who passes herself off as a boy named Luffy so (s)he can have a fresh start in a new town. Predictably, Nami and Luffy meet, but what will happen when Nami and Luffy fall in love? Nami x Luffy(ko)
1. Let the Marriage Plot Begin!

**Author's Note: **You know, when a cheesy subplot hijacks your fanfiction, you know it's time to re-write it.

Anyway, this fic has been in limbo for some time now, and it was all because that damn subplot involving two of my OCs who are in love. I'm going to re-write this fic, and the subplot won't be in the fic this time, which means that there will be no writer's block. Add to that, I've been in a bit in a slump lately, since I haven't gotten a lot of reviews for my fics in the past few days and I have some minor writer's block.

Anyway, let's re-start the fic.

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.**

* * *

Our tale of crossdressing, a yuri pairing in disguise of a het pairing, useless marriage plots, socialites with too much free time, and teenaged love began one afternoon at a cocktail party at a fancy mansion.

"A party where I don't have to cater?! The Crap Geezer loves me!" Our male love interest, Sanji, said as he entered the party room.

"Yeah... About that..." Patty, one of Sanji's colleagues said nervously.

"What? What's the Crap Geezer planning THIS TIME?" Sanji asked Patty and Carné, who sighed.

"You will find out soon enough," Carné told Sanji. Sanji's best friend, Nico Robin, then approached them.

"What's going on?" Robin asked Sanji.

"Crap Geezer is planning something, I just know it," Sanji explained as he lit up a cigarette.

"Cook-san, you should really stop calling your boss-slash-adoptive father 'Crap Geezer'. I don't think he likes being called that," Robin suggested.

"Well... He is letting me have the night off. Plus, he adopted me, fed me, clothed me, sent me to the best cooking school in France, and got me my job at Baratie AND my celebrity status. I guess he isn't as crappy as it seems," Sanji explained.

"You do have a point, Cook-san," Robin stated as Sanji poured glasses of fine wine for all four of them.

"Cheers, guys! It's a beautiful day to be a celebrity!" Sanji said. And, so, the four were about to toast, when Zeff, Sanji's adoptive father-slash-boss, cleared his throat, leaving the four to keep their wine glasses suspended in the air.

"I have an announcement to make! Patty, Sanji, Robin, Carné, keep your glasses where they are, since this is something to toast over!" Zeff said.

"My arm is beginning to hurt!" Patty yelled.

"My son is getting married to the beautiful, orphaned socialite Nami! The wedding's in three months!" Zeff said. As his three friends toasted, Sanji dropped his wine glass.

"Zeff, you Crap Geezer!" Sanji yelled angrily.

"Cook-san!" Robin yelled.

"How could he do this to me?! There's beautiful ladies out there that need my loving!" Sanji said to himself. Zeff then gave him a picture of a girl with short, orange hair.

"Is this... Nami? As in, my ex-childhood crush Nami?" Sanji asked Zeff.

"Yes. Now, shut up, since you are marrying this girl, who will graduate high school in a year," Zeff explained. Sanji did a fangirl scream as his eyes turned to hearts and steam came out of his nostrils and ears.

"Mellorine!" Sanji yelled joyfully. Robin smiled.

"Cook-san is gonna sleep tonight," Robin remarked.

* * *

Over on Nami's side of things, she took the news rather well. But, she was in a world much different than Sanji's - she was at the Apple store in the mall with her two friends, Vivi Nefatari and Kaya.

"So, then, I said to Sanji, 'be glad you're marrying somebody you already know'," Nami said, making Kaya and Vivi laugh.

"That doesn't really explain why you guys are going to get married in the future," Kaya said.

"It was a family deal thing. I would be married right now, if Bellemeré didn't die in that accident three years ago," Nami explained.

"You mean the one involving the mikan truck and Arlong?" Vivi asked Nami.

"Yeah... But, thank God, they found cocaine on Arlong, which means it's all good," Nami explained.

"Plus, he did some other things, too. I don't know how long that guy is gonna be on probation," Vivi said. Meanwhile, at a kindergarten...

"And Mr. Spot the Dog and the Mailman became friends forever! The end!" Arlong - a half-fish, half-man, ex-mafia boss - read from a storybook to some little kids. A little boy named Stelly raised his hand.

"Mr. Arlong, what's that?" Stelly asked as he pointed to a shotgun on Arlong's lap. Arlong jumped up in shock.

"Fuck! I thought this was a Super Soaker!" Arlong cried. The kids giggled.

"Mr. Arlong, what does 'fuck' mean?" A little girl named Chimney asked Arlong.

"Well.. Uhh..." Arlong said as the police, with their sirens on, pulled up to the school. Two cops named Smoker and Hina entered the kindergarten. Smoker was holding another shotgun and Hina was holding a plastic bag filled with pot.

"Arlong, we found these things in your car. Care to explain?" Hina asked Arlong, who grew white.

"I... Uhh.. I was saving the weed for my friends! And, the gun is in case my crazy ex comes back!" Arlong cried. Smoker just put handcuffs on Arlong.

"Heard it before when you were arrested for posession of marijuana six months ago," Smoker said.

"Look, I can't quit smoking. If I do, I'll get hit by a bus," Arlong said nervously. Hina just laughed.

"That's not even possible!" Hina said, holding back laughter, as she and Smoker led Arlong away. Back with Nami, Vivi, and Kaya...

"Yeah... I kinda don't wanna know what happened," Nami said with a nervous laugh.

"I'm sure that Arlong is currently incarcerated right now," Kaya said. Nami and Vivi laughed.

"We all hope so, Kaya," Nami said. That evening, Nami returned to the mansion she and Nojiko lived in.

"Nojiko, I'm home!" Nami said as she entered the empty mansion and set her bag down. Nami the discovered a note on the table, which said:

**Nami,**

**Went to a party at Sanji's mansion. Dinner's in the fridge.**

**- Nojiko**

Nami just sighed.

"I'm getting Pizza Hut," Nami said as she pulled out her phone and began to dial a number. Both Sanji and Nami did not expect what was to happen next.

* * *

**Ending Note: Review if you want to see Luffy(ko).**


	2. Enter Luffy and Luffyko!

**Author's Note: **It's a slow day today on the site, so I decided to update. Chapter 3 will most likely be up later today or tonight.

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.**

* * *

It was a sunny morning in the town of Goa, California, located in the northern part of the state. The small town at the base of the mountains had about 2,500 people, and it would soon drop to 2,499 people.

This was the day seveteen-year-old Monkey D. Luffyko was moving.

"So, Luffyko, where is it that your dad and grandpa are going?" The bartender of the local pizzeria, Makino, asked Luffyko.

"They're going to China. They're planning on becoming missionaries," Luffyko answered with a grin.

"Well... Are you sure you're going to be fine with your brothers and grandma in L.A.? You haven't even met them," Makino asked Luffy.

"Shishishi! I'll be fine!" Luffyko answered. Makino smiled.

"Have a lot of fun in L.A. But, don't forget any of us back here in Goa! Remember, if you feel really, REALLY homesick, you can make arrangements to move back home. I've got a bed for you if it happens," Makino explained as she hugged Luffyko tight.

"I'll miss your salads, Makino! When I come back, I'll order a lifetime suppy of them!" Luffyko said before she left the pizzeria. A few minutes later, Luffyko arrived at the one-story home she lived in. "Okay, I'm gonna get a new start in Los Angeles, the home of movie stars! Good-bye, Luffyko!"

Luffyko then took all of her bras out of her suitcase and threw them into the grabage can. Even though her cup size was abnormally small, Luffyko decided to bind her chest back just to be on the safe side. She then changed into a more boyish pair of jean shorts, put on her signature straw hat, and deepened her voice.

"Shishishi! Monkey D. Luffy is ready to go!" Luffyko - now known as "Luffy" - laughed to her/himself. Outside, a car horn honked.

"Monkey D. Luffy, get your ass out here!" Luffy's adoptive grandma - Curly Dadan - yelled from the car.

"Grandma!" Luffy said before running out of the house. (S)he then ran back to grab her things and to lock the door.

* * *

"Sugoi! THIS is Los Angeles?!" Luffy cried. It was now the afternoon, and Luffy arrived in the suburbs of L.A.

"Yep! Welcome to the neighborhood!" Dadan said as Luffy looked around at all of the people, places, and things around him.

"Cool! Hey, is that a meat truck?!" Luffy asked as he pointed to a food truck selling carne asada.

"You bet! You'll be seeing a lot of those food trucks in L.A. There's a reason why magazines pick Los Angeles as one of the best places relating to food," Dadan explained.

"Awesome!" Luffy said. A few minutes later, they arrived at Dadan's house.

"Ace, Sabo, Luffy's here!" Dadan yelled. The only person in the room was a shirtless, black-haired man who was asleep on the couch as the T.V. played some reality show in the background.

"Luffy, this is your older brother, Ace," Dadan explained as she motioned to the sleeping man. Luffy poked Ace, waking him up.

"Fuck... I was having a really good dream," Ace moaned before noticing Luffy standing above him. "Grandma, who is this?"

"Ace, this is your younger brother, Luffy," Dadan introduced Ace to Luffy. Ace was then promptly hugged very tightly by Luffy.

"Hi, Ace! My name is Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm your younger brother! We're gonna have so much fun together!" Luffy explained.

"Hi, Luffy," Ace said, almost unable to breathe. Luffy let go of him. "Grandma, where's Sabo?"

"Sabo is here!"

A blonde man wearing a top hat and goggles entered the house with groceries.

"Sabo, meet your little brother, Luffy," Dadan introduced Luffy to Sabo.

"Hi, Luffy! We're gonna have a great time together, I just know it!" Sabo said as he high-fived Luffy.

"Shishishi! I like the both of you already!" Luffy giggled.

* * *

"You won't believe what I just heard!" Vivi said as she entered Nami's mansion.

"What is it? Did Sanji get engaged to Robin at the last minute?" Nami asked Vivi.

"Nope! Just Chuck Testa!" Vivi answered. "But, they went to Palm Springs over the weekend, so, who knows?"

"Only them," Nami said. "So, what's the real news?"

"There's a new student attending our school starting tomorrow!" Vivi revealed.

"Girl or guy?" Nami asked Vivi.

"Guy. Kohza told me that he's from NorCal," Vivi explained.

"Is he from San Fransisco?" Nami asked, again.

"No. He's from one of those mountain towns you pass on the way to Mammoth OR San Fransisco," Vivi explained.

"Hmmm... This could be interesting," Nami said, not knowing that everything would change the next day.

* * *

**Ending Note: Review if you want to see Luffy's first day at school!**


	3. Time to go to School!

**Author's Note: **True to my word, here's chapter three.

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.**

* * *

The next morning...

"Luffy! Time to get up! You'll be late for your - Zzzzzzzzzzzzz!"

Luffy awoke with a jolt. Since he was so excited to start school at Sabaody High School, Luffy slept in his clothes he would be wearing today.

"Oh, boy! Time to go to school!" Luffy said as he grabbed his Straw Hat and ran out of the room, jumping over his sleeping brother at the foot of his door.

"Luffy, want some bacon?!" Dadan asked as Luffy got downstairs. Luffy grabbed some bacon and his backpack and ran out of the door.

"Wait, Luffy, come back! You don't have to go to school for another fifteen minutes!" Sabo yelled from the doorway. Dadan just put her hand on Sabo's shoulder.

"Just let the boy be, Sabo. Can't help him if he's excited for his first day," Dadan explained.

* * *

"You want me to do what again?" Nami asked the pricipal of Sabaody High School, a large man known as "Whitebeard".

"Show the new student around. You'll know who he is because he has the same first period as you," Whitebeard explained. "If there's any trouble, come to me, okay?"

"Yes, Principal Whitebeard," Nami said before walking out of the office.

"Well?" Vivi asked Nami.

"I get to show the new kid around. I hope his sense of direction is BETTER than Zoro's," Nami explained.

"I heard that," A green-haired teen, Roronoa Zoro, remarked.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the gym?" Vivi asked Zoro.

"I got lost again," Zoro said with a shrug. "Oi, Nami, what's this about a new student?"

"His first day of school is today. I'm supposed to show him the ropes," Nami explained.

"Have fun with that," Zoro said.

"You want to join us? You could find your way across the school," Nami offered.

"Shut up," Zoro said before the bell rang. "Well, time to go to class!"

Zoro then left the two girls.

"Don't wait up! We'll see you in assisstant principal Jozu's office for another tardy!" Nami called out. A few minutes later, Nami and Vivi arrived at their first period, study hall/homeroom with Shanks-sensei.

"Alright, kids! We have a new student joining us today all the way from beautiful Goa, California!" Shanks said to his class, who were still a bit groggy.

"Goa, California? Didn't I see that town before in a horror movie about a religious cult?" A dashing, black-haired boy wearing punk rock attire asked Shanks.

"You probably did. Were you talking about _Thriller Bark_?" Shanks asked the student.

"Not really," The student answered with an apathetic shrug.

"I think you're talking about _The Hawkins Pirates_," A boy with a long nose said. "I know, since I played one of the happy townspeople who is secretly in that bloodthirsty cult that murders all of the -"

"Usopp, you weren't even in the movie," Shanks said. "So, anyway, please give a warm welcome to our new student, Monkey D. Luffy!"

On cue, Luffy ran into the room.

"Hi, everyone! My name's Luffy, and I want to be your nakama!" Luffy introduced himself. "Does anybody have any meat?"

"I do," The punk kid said, throwing a turkey sandwich to Luffy, who then caught it.

"Thanks!" Luffy said before he ate the sandwich.

"Now, Luffy, why don't you sit next to Nami? She's gonna help you show the ropes around here," Shanks suggested as he pointed to Nami. Luffy sat down in the desk next to Nami.

"Hi, my name's Luffy!" Luffy introduced himself to Nami.

"I'm Nami. You must be the new transfer student," Nami introduced herself.

"Yep! This school is so cool!" Luffy said. "Who do you have next?"

"Geometry with Mr. Paulie," Nami answered. Luffy looked at his schedule.

"Darn. I have Health with Dr. Kureha," Luffy said sadly.

"Have fun. Dr. Kureha is over a hundred years young," Nami said. In Luffy's next period...

"Alright, kids, today we're gonna learn about S-E-X!" Dr. Kureha, the Health teacher who was over a hundred years old but dressed like she was twenty-one, announced to the class. Everyone groaned. "Shut up! You probably saw it coming when you signed up for this class!"

"I didn't sign up for this class! Kazuma Miyafuji made me take it so I could stay in kendo!" Zoro cried.

"Kazuma Miyafuji knows jack shit about contraception, Zoro. All that boy does is talk about how much of a 'man' he is," Dr. Kureha said. "Anyway, Chopper, start up the projector so we can see today's video."

Dr. Kureha's assisstant, who looked a lot like a humanoid reindeer, climbed up Luffy and began to fiddle with the projection in the ceiling.

"Dr. Kureha... Why is there a racoon climbing up on me?" Luffy asked Dr. Kureha. Everyone laughed as Chopper punched Luffy in the eye.

"Bitch, I'm a reindeer!" Chopper said before hopping off of Luffy and walking away. Luffy sighed as he turned his attention to the video on... Well, reproduction.

"_Why can't I be in P.E. already? I hope Coach Jinbei is a really cool guy!_" Luffy thought to himself before a paper hit him on the head. Luffy unfolded it, revealing a note.

**You're pretty cool for a transfer student from a hick town in Northern California. You can be my nakama/wingman.**

**- Roronoa Zoro**

Luffy looked over to Zoro, who was already asleep.

"Shishishi! I already have some nakama!" Luffy giggled to himself.

"You, in the Straw Hat, pipe down!" Dr. Kureha yelled from his desk.

* * *

**Ending Note: Review if you want to see more of your favorite One Piece characters.**


	4. What's a Wingman?

**Author's Note: **In this chapter, we learn what a wingman does. Take out your pens and pencils, there may be a test on this material afterwards.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything trademarked by Eichiiro Oda.**

* * *

After gym and math classes for Luffy, it was time for lunch.

"Oh, boy! It's time to eat!" Luffy said as he sat down and put his tray - which was literally stacked with food - onto his table. Nami, Usopp, and Zoro sweatdropped.

"You're gonna eat THAT MUCH?! Holy crap!" Nami cried.

"Wow. If you eat that much food, Kazuma would probably consider you fit for kendo," Usopp added.

"Kazu-who?" Luffy asked, his mouth filled with tater tots.

"Kazuma Miyafuji, the captain of the kendo team. Like Rock Lee and his youth, Kazuma is obsessed with his manliness," Usopp explained.

"He is also a pompous douche. He won't shut up about his manhood, his girlfriend's the president of the anime club, which means they have a lot of power at the school, he won't let me bring pirate grog to out-of-town kendo tournaments, he won't let me use my Three-Sword Style, he won't let me sleep during practice whenever I feel like it, he -" Zoro explained before Nami cut him off.

"Zoro, it says in the school handbook that you CANNOT sleep through any class, band or instrument practice, theater rehersal, important assemblies, detentions, or sports practices," Nami explained. Zoro's face turned blank. "Also, it says you can't bring booze to school or any school-related function off of the school grounds."

"What the hell, Nami?! Are you SIDING with Kazuma?!" Zoro cried. Luffy and Usopp sweatdropped as the socialite's daughter and the kendo practioner began to argue.

"Don't worry, this always happens," Usopp explained.

"Are they in love?" Luffy asked Usopp.

"Uhh... No. You see, Zoro has a girlfriend that looks like his dead best friend," Usopp explained. "Plus, Nami's engaged."

"Ooh! Is Nami engaged to Zoro?!" Luffy asked Usopp, who sighed.

"Luffy, I just told you that Zoro's girlfriend looks like his dead, best friend, Kuina," Usopp explained.

"Kuina?" Luffy asked as he picked his nose.

"It's a long story. Let's just say that 'death by staircase' is possible," Usopp explained as Zoro sat back down. He was rubbing a bump on the back of his head, presumably one he got from Nami.

"Hey, Zoro, I've been meaning to ask you this - What's a wingman?" Luffy asked Zoro.

"Well, Luffy, if you want to know what a wingman is, come with me after school," Zoro explained in a matter-of-fact tone.

* * *

After school, Luffy found himself eating at a McDonald's with a blue-haired girl wearing glasses (Tashigi), a blonde-haired boy with dreadlocks (Kazuma), and a brown-haired girl (Yuki-Rin).

"_Well... This is going worse than I thought_..." Zoro thought to himself. Kazuma cleared his throat.

"Roronoa," Kazuma said bitterly.

"Miyafuji," Zoro said bitterly.

"Why were you absent for the last half of kendo practice yesterday?" Kazuma asked.

"Well, MIYAFUJI-DONO, I got hit in the head and you sent me to the nurse's office. I fell asleep there, and when I woke up, the school was closing. So, THERE," Zoro said. Tashigi and Yuki-Rin laughed nervously.

"So, Luffy, do you like any anime?" Yuki-Rin asked nervously in an attempt to change the subject.

"Do I?! I love anime! Anime is so cool! What's your favorite anime?" Luffy asked Yuki-Rin.

"Don't judge me, but... I can't stand K-On. I really can't," Yuki-Rin explained. "Other than that, I like Hetalia, Gintama, Fairy Tail, Soul Eater, Fullmetal Alchemist, Sgt. Frog, Madoka Magica, Durarara, Baccano, Blue Exorcist, and a ton of other anime. But, my #1 favorite anime would have to be Romance Dawn, hands down."

"You like Romance Dawn, too?! Isn't Ruffi awesome?!" Luffy asked Yuki-Rin.

"Meh... I like the Eleven Neutron Stars better," Yuki-Rin said as Kazuma and Zoro's glares turned into a fight. "Hey, Kazuma, what are you doing?!"

Kazuma and Zoro glared at Yuki-Rin before they resumed fighting. While Tashigi and Yuki-Rin watched in horror, Luffy watched in semi-amazement.

"Do they... Always do this?" Luffy asked the two high school girls.

"They do. I think it started when Kazuma became the head of the kendo club in middle school when Zoro was CLEARLY a candidate for it," Yuki-Rin explained.

"Tashigi, is this what a wingman does?" Luffy asked Tashigi, who sighed.

"No, a wingman does not watch two men fight in a McDonald's for no reason," Tashigi calmly explained as she pulled Zoro off of Kazuma.

"What the hell, Tashigi?!" Zoro cried.

"Next time, think twice about picking a fight with the captain of your kendo squad!" Tashigi scolded Zoro.

"Yes, ma'am," Zoro said bitterly. Kazuma sighed.

"Roronoa Zoro, you are suspended from playing in tomorrow's kendo meet," Kazuma told Zoro.

"What the hell?! You -" Zoro cried before Tashigi restrained him. Kazuma just sighed as he put his hand on Yuki-Rin's shoulder.

"Let's go, Yuki-Rin. I'm sorry you had to see that," Kazuma said before giving Yuki-Rin a kiss.

"It's okay. I would've defended you anyway," Yuki-Rin said before the two left the McDonald's. Luffy, Tashigi, and Zoro went silent.

"Can I... Take you home? It's getting a bit late out," Zoro asked Luffy.

"Sure," Luffy said. A few minutes later, Luffy returned him.

"Grandma, Ace, Sabo, I'm home!" Luffy shouted as he entered the house. "When's dinner?!"

"Hi, Luffy! How was your first day of school?!" Ace asked Luffy, who grinned.

"I learned how to be a wingman today!" Luffy said happily. Ace turned beet red.

"_Luffy is now one of the reasons why I will stop considering being Marco's wingman again. The okamas were bad enough, but..._" Ace thought to himself before shuddering.

* * *

**Ending Note: **Luffy is best wingman. :D

**Review if you want to see Luffy be a wingman again!**


	5. Getting Down on Friday

**Author's Note: **And, now, the next chapter.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

The next day, the students at Sabaody High School had a reason to celebrate, because it was Friday.

"Cool! It's Friday!" Luffy shouted.

"Luffy, you just joined this school yesterday," Usopp pointed out.

"So? I want to have tons of fun for my first weekend in L.A.!" Luffy said. "What should I do? How about we go see _The Revengers_?"

"I've heard about that! Isn't it where all of these superheroes come together to fight crime?" Zoro asked Nami, Luffy, and Usopp.

"Yep! Isn't Loke the hottest villain Tom Hiddleston's ever played?!" Nami gushed.

"I really look up to Red Tarantula. She's an excellent sharpshooter," Usopp said. "What about you, Luffy? Who is your favorite Revenger?"

"I like Admiral America!" Luffy answered with a grin. Shanks then came into the room with a dozen flowers and a card.

"Happy Friday, class!" Shanks said as he put the flowers and card on Nami's desk. "Nami, this was sent up to the front office. It's for you."

Nami's face grew pale as she opened the card and read it.

**Nami-swan!**

**Although I am out of town until Monday, I'm still giving you the love and affection you need! Even though you're not in Palm Springs, I can't wait until Monday to see you, my Mellorine~!**

**XOXOXO,**

**Sanji**

Nami bowed her head as her classmates began to whisper around her.

"Shanks-sensei, I don't feel so well. Can I go to the nurse's office?" Nami asked Shanks.

"Of course, you may," Shanks said. Nami, with her head bowed, gathered her things, threw the flowers and the card into the trash can, and ran out of the room.

"What's her problem?" Zoro asked Usopp and Luffy.

* * *

Luffy wasn't able to find Nami until lunchtime. Unlike the day before, Nami was sitting alone.

"Hey, Nami! How are you?!" Luffy asked Nami. "Can I sit here?"

"I'm doing better, thanks. Of course, you can sit down," Nami said. Luffy sat down and put his pile of food on the table.

"So, where are Usopp and Zoro?" Luffy asked in between bites of food.

"Oh, Zoro's off trying to convince Kazuma to let him go to today's kendo meet and Usopp's finishing up some homework," Nami said.

"Ah. I see," Luffy said before eating some more. "Hey, Nami... What was up with you in homeroom?"

Nami turned beet red. She knew people in her homeroom class were going to ask about her and the flowers.

"You remember Usopp telling you that I'm getting married when I come of age, right? Well... My fianceé is a total womanizer," Nami said shyly.

"Really? Who is he?!" Luffy asked eagerly. Nami sighed.

"Do you really want to know?" Nami asked Luffy, who eagerly nodded. "*Sigh*... It's 'Black Leg' Sanji, head chef of the Baratie restaurant over in the Beverly Hills area."

"He cooks?! Cool!" Luffy said. Nami sighed.

"No, Luffy, it's not THAT cool. Sanji smokes like a forest fire, swears like an angry drunk, dresses like Arthur from _Inception_, and whores himself out like Finnick from _The Hunger Games_. And, he's got THE WEIRDEST eyebrows I have ever seen on a straight male. I mean, who has curly eyebrows like Sanji?" Nami ranted. "You're most likely gonna meet Sanji. Zoro and Usopp met him, and, oh boy, Zoro and Sanji HATE each other. Just last week, they -"

"_Hmm... This Sanji guy seems REALLY cool. But, if he finds out that I'm actually a girl, I could be toast like the toast he makes at Baratie,_" Luffy thought to himself.

"Hey, Nami! Is that the new student people were talking about?!"

Kaya and Vivi sat down.

"Oh, yes he is! Luffy, meet Kaya and Vivi, my two BFFs!" Nami introduced Luffy to the two girls.

"Hi! I'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I like meat!" Luffy introduced himself.

"Pleased to meet you," Kaya said.

"Aren't you in my English class with Mr. Galdino?" Vivi asked Luffy.

"I think so. Hey, isn't your dad really rich or something?!" Luffy asked Vivi, who chuckled.

"Yep. The current head of the Nefatari acting dynasty," Vivi answered.

"Are you in movies?!" Luffy asked Vivi.

"Just one, _The Desert Princess and the Pirates_. I'm going to start work on my next film, _Whiskey Peak_, over summer vacation," Vivi explained.

"Cool! I love that movie!" Luffy said. "Can I have your autograph?!"

Vivi sweatdropped.

"What size photos do you want? The price of the autograph depends on the size of the photo," Vivi asked. Luffy tilted his head.

"Is this a joke?" Luffy asked.

"Actually, it isn't. So many people ask Vivi for her autograph, so she decided to use it to her advantage to make some pocket money by selling autographs," Nami explained. "It was my idea, and Vivi lets me have 25% of her profits if the client doesn't pay and I make him or her pay."

Luffy turned pale.

"Don't hurt them, Nami!" Luffy cried.

* * *

After school, Nami, Kaya, and Vivi were walking home.

"Luffy sounds like a nice guy. I'm glad he likes me for how good I act and not for my boobs or my dancer costumes I had to wear in _The Desert Princess and the Pirates_," Vivi said.

"Plus, he's Usopp's friend! Maybe we should all get together to see _The Revengers_ or something!" Kaya suggested.

"Fine by me. But, it all depends on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, because he's coming home from that cooking thing on Monday," Nami explained.

"Speaking from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, did you get his flowers and card?" Vivi asked Nami.

"I did, right during homeroom. I threw them away, though," Nami explained. Vivi and Kaya laughed.

"Nice one, Nami," Vivi said. Nami sighed.

"Don't get me wrong, Vivi. Sanji's a nice guy, but he's a bit too flirty and suave for my tastes," Nami explained.

"Oh. Well, then, who are you crushing on? Trafalgar Law? Eustass Kidd? Portgas D. Ace? Heathcliffe Sarutobi? Saga? Sad thing is, they're pretty much either taken, have anger issues, or graduated," Vivi explained. Nami smiled.

"Nobody at the moment. But, it seems like it could change at any moment," Nami said slyly.

* * *

**Ending Note: Review if you want to see Ace and Sabo again!**


	6. Taco Tuesday! The Return of Sanji!

**Author's Note: **Here is the last chapter of the fic (possibly)... For the year, that is.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

A few days passed, and Luffy was settling into his (or rather, her) new life in the city of L.A. But, things were going to get exciting on the rainy Tuesday after Luffy's arrival.

"Hey there, Nami! You ready to go?" Luffy asked Nami as he approached the front entrance of the school, where Nami was standing.

"Ready to go. The rain is - thankfully - letting up, so we should make it to your house in time," Nami explained.

"Sugoi! You'll get to celebrate your first Taco Tuesday with me!" Luffy said as they exited the school. The clouds above were breaking up, giving way to sunshine.

"Taco Tuesday?" Nami asked Luffy.

"Yep. Ace and Sabo tell me that every Tuesday, Grandma makes tacos for us! Sometimes, Ace invites his friends from college to eat tacos with us! I bet it'll be so fun!" Luffy ranted. Nami smiled.

"Well, if you make it sound fun, then it must be fun," Nami said before she stopped in her tracks.

"Huh? What is it, Nami?" Luffy asked. Nami simply pointed to a rainbow in the distance.

"Cool..." Luffy commented.

"Isn't it pretty?" Nami asked Luffy, who simply nodded. "A rainbow on Taco Tuesday... Pretty neat, huh?"

"Yep!" Luffy said, not knowing that he will soon meet a certain Ero Cook later that day.

* * *

"You brought a girl to your first Taco Tuesday?! Bro, I'm impressed!" Sabo commented as he sat down at the dining room table with Ace, Luffy, Dadan, and Nami.

"Thank you, Sabo. This is actually my first Taco Tuesday, too. I never got one, since my mother was... Well, she was a BIT stuck-up about these types of things," Nami explained.

"Oh, yeah! She was that rich socialite that died in that truck accident, wasn't she?" Ace asked Nami, who frowned.

"Ace, I don't want to talk about how my mom died, okay?" Nami stated.

"Alrighty then," Ace said before he began making his own taco. "Let Nami and Luffy's first Taco Tuesday begin!"

Two hours later, Luffy, Ace, Sabo, Dadan, and Nami were sitting on the couch and watching the movie _The Muppets_.

"I've forgotten how much I loved the Muppets when I was little," Sabo commented, not noticing that Ace was asleep and drooling all over his nice coat.

"Me too! It's cool to see them back in action!" Nami added right before the door knocked. Dadan got up from her seat on the recliner.

"I'll get that. Pause the movie," Dadan said. Nami hit the pause button on the remote as all eyes turned to Ace.

"Ace... Who did you invite THIS TIME?" Sabo asked Ace, who woke up.

"Huh? I don't remember inviting anybody," Ace said groggily. From their spots on the couch, the four could hear some swearing, desperate shouts of admiration, and possibly Dadan cocking her shotgun.

"Uh-oh... Looks like grandma brought out her shotgun," Sabo whispered right before Dadan entered the room with a certain, blonde Ero-cook.

"Nami, this strange, yet classy, man wants to talk to you," Dadan said as she pointed to Sanji.

"Hi, there," Sanji greeted the four with a wave and a cheesy grin.

"_Aw, hell naw_," Nami thought to herself before sighing. Sanji immediately rushed to Nami's side.

"Nami-swan! What is wrong?! Did you miss me for THAT LONG?!" Sanji asked Nami.

"Yes, Sanji, I missed you," Nami said almost sarcastically. Sanji screamed like an excited, little girl.

"Mellorine!" Sanji shouted. Then, he noticed Luffy. "Oi, who is this?"

"Uhh... Sanji, this is Luffy. He moved here last week, and he just started attending my school. He's a nice guy, really," Nami explained. Sanji approached Luffy, who gulped.

"Luffy, huh? Can we have a talk outside?" Sanji asked Luffy. Before Luffy could say anything, Sanji led him outside. "Alright, be honest with me - Did you do anything horrible and unspeakable to Nami-swan?!"

"No, I didn't," Luffy answered.

"Well, then, Luffy, when did you arrive here?" Sanji asked Luffy.

"Wednesday afternoon," Luffy answered.

"What did you do this week?" Sanji asked Luffy. "Wait - More specifically, what did you do with Nami?"

"Well, we went to school, did homework, and went to the movies with some friends," Luffy explained. Sanji lit up a cigarette.

"I see. Was this movie a romance?" Sanji asked Luffy.

"Nope. It was _The Revengers_!" Luffy answered. Sanji just nodded.

"Well, then, Luffy... See you around. Don't hurt Nami or put her in danger, okay?" Sanji said.

"Okay," Luffy said before Sanji turned and walked away. Luffy tilted his head. "Who was that guy? He was weird. Ah, well, I'm probably not gonna see him again."

With a shrug, Luffy entered the house.

"So, what did my soon-to-be husband say?" Nami asked Luffy.

"That guy was your husband?!" Luffy cried. Nami slapped Luffy.

"No shit, Sherlock! I told you, remember?! Doesn't he look like a blonde Finnick Odair mixed with that guy from Working?!" Nami asked Luffy, who nodded. "That was Sanji, my fianceé."

Nami grabbed her coat, umbrella, and schoolbag.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Dadan asked Nami.

"I actually have a lot of homework to do right now. I'm sorry I can't stay, but thank you for the meal," Nami explained.

"You're welcome. Come back anytime if that Sanji boy is giving you trouble, you hear?" Dadan asked Nami.

"I will. Thank you, Dadan! Bye, Luffy!" Nami said before exiting the house.

"What's her problem?" Ace - who just woke up - asked everyone.

"It's a long story," Dadan simply stated.

* * *

**Ending Note: Review if you want to see more of Nami's friends.**


	7. Hollywood Hills, Suburban Thrills

**Author's Note: **And here is the first chapter of the new year.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my OCs.**

* * *

A few days later, it was Thursday afternoon, and Luffy and Nami found themselves walking home in a hurry.

"Where are you taking me?!" Luffy cried.

"My place. I have to go get changed," Nami explained as she led Luffy down her street. Luffy looked at the many mansions decorating the street.

"You live here?! Cool!" Luffy said as Nami ushered him into her mansion.

"I'm home!" Nami called out. Nojiko didn't answer. "Damnit. She must be at Sanji's."

"Are we going there?" Luffy asked Nami, who was already leading him into her room.

"Nope. We're going somewhere else," Nami explained.

"Is Sanji there?" Luffy asked Nami, who glared at him.

"No. You'll meet some very cool friends of mine, trust me," Nami explained. About two minutes later, she was dressed in sort of a punk-styled outfit.

"Sugoi! That looks so cool!" Luffy commented.

"Thank you. Nobody's said anything about this outfit before, really," Nami said as she tied her hair back. "Well, let's go! Be ready to have some fun!"

A couple of minutes later, Luffy and Nami arrived at the mansion next door.

"Don't tell me this is Sanji's place!" Luffy groaned. Nami gave him a weird look.

"Why would Sanji live next door to me? He's not that desperate," Nami explained as they walked up the front steps. "These are my neighbors, three brothers I grew up with. Their parents are working in London, so they don't have time to see them. Thankfully, they wire money to them."

Nami knocked on the door. For a long minute, nobody answered.

"Hmm... Guess I'd better let myself in," Nami said before she grabbed a key under the mat and unlocked the front door.

"_More guys?! I just hope they aren't perverts like Sanji_," Luffy thought as he and Nami entered the mansion.

"I brought Luffy!" Nami called out. "Hmm... They're usually home at this time doing -"

Loud punk music then filled the room. Luffy jumped up.

"Where's that coming from?" Luffy asked Nami, who grinned.

"Come with me!" Nami said as she grabbed Luffy's hand. The two ran into what appeared to be a ballroom, where four boys were playing instruments. A pink-haired girl wearing hipster clothing and a beautiful, black-haired girl sat facing the band.

"Hi, Nami! You're just in time!" The pink-haired girl shouted.

"Hey, Bonney! I brought the new kid!" Nami yelled back.

"Great! Can you introduce him later?! It's a little loud!" Bonney shouted back. Nami and Luffy sat down.

"_Oh,  
Well imagine,  
As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,  
And I can't help but to hear,  
No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:_

_"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding," says a bridesmaid to the waiter,_  
_"And, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore."_

_I chime in with a,_  
_"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the Goddamn door?!"_  
_No, it's much better to face these kinds of things_  
_With a sense of poise and rationality._  
_I chime in,_  
_"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the Goddamn door?!"_  
_No, it's much better to face these kinds of things_  
_With a sense of_ -" The lead singer/guitarist - a black-haired boy - sang.

"_Hey, these guys are pretty cool! And... They're pretty cute, too_," Luffy thought to him/herself. She allowed herself to ogle the four men playing the instruments, since nobody noticed (or even suspected) that Luffy was actually a girl. One brother had black hair, one had black hair with parts of it dyed blue, and the third brother was blonde. While the blonde brother played drums, the black-haired brothers played guitars. A man who was unrelated to the three brothers played a keyboard. Unlike the three brothers, who wore punk clothing, the keyboardist wore hipster-ish clothing.

"Hey, Luffy! Pay attention!" Nami said as she snapped her fingers in front of Luffy's face. Luffy blinked.

"Huh?! Is the house on fire?!" Luffy asked Nami, who giggled.

"No, silly! I'd like you to meet Heathcliffe, Holden, Soren, Law, Bonney, and Aki," Nami said as she motioned to each person who joined them.

"Oh! My name's Luffy! As you know, I'm the new kid!" Luffy introduced himself.

"Hey, I know you! We have homeroom with Shanks-sensei together!" Heathcliffe said as he pointed to Luffy. "For a new kid, you're pretty cool."

"I am? Really?!" Luffy asked Heathcliffe.

"Yeah, everyone's talking about you! You're always doing awesome things. For instance, you were stuffing A LOT of tater tots in your mouth at lunch today," Heathcliffe explained.

"Oh, shucks! How did a kid from the boonies like me get so cool?!" Luffy asked the gang.

"Probably because you hang out with Nami, you were the wingman to Roronoa Zoro on the day he got into that fight with Kazuma, AND you're a fan of _The Revengers_," Holden - was he the kid with part of his hair dyed blue? - explained.

"Law, Bonney, and I are in college, and we heard about you," Soren - the blonde brother - explained.

"Aww, thanks, guys! Now, let's have some fun!" Luffy declared.

* * *

And, so, the group ended up having a picnic in a park down the street.

"Wow! This park is so cool!" Luffy commented.

"It is. You could say that this is where I go when I need a break from Sanji, Nojiko, or life in general. Sometimes, I'll bring Heathcliffe, and we'll end up talking about nothing and laughing," Nami explained.

"Heathcliffe sounds like a fun guy," Luffy stated. Nami smiled.

"He is. Even though he's a punk and somewhat of a goth, Heathcliffe is one of the sweetest, funniest people I've met. Aki made the right choice when she fell in love with Heathcliffe," Nami explained.

"Aki?" Luffy asked Nami. Nami pointed to a pretty, Chinese girl Heathcliffe was cuddling.

"Aki Chung-Feng, another friend of mine. Call me a total girl, but we like to go shopping together with Vivi and Kaya. Aki is a total girly-girl. The only problem is that Aki came here from China after her mother died, and her father could take her back to China any day now," Nami explained sadly.

"Why is that?" Luffy asked Nami, who sighed.

"Let's put it this way: Long story, Aki's family is rich, and there's some type of arranged marriage-thing going on. Her dad doesn't like Heathcliffe either," Nami explained.

"But, I like Heathcliffe, you like Heathcliffe, Aki likes Heathcliffe - Who doesn't love Heathcliffe?!" Luffy asked Nami.

"Apparently, Aki's father. I just can't bear to see them apart if Aki has to go back to Shanghai and Heathcliffe has to stay behind here in Los Angeles. They were truly meant for each other," Nami sadly explained. Luffy looked to Aki and Heathcliffe, and he got an idea.

"Hey, Aki, I'm gonna kick your dad's ass because he doesn't like Heathcliffe!" Luffy shouted. Aki began to laugh and Heathcliffe smiled.

"Monkey D. Luffy, you are truly a very cool guy," Heathcliffe commented. Nami smiled as well.

"_Heathcliffe Sarutobi, you are right. Luffy is cool,_" Nami thought to herself.

* * *

**Ending Note: Review if you want to see Luffy(ko) kick ass and take names.**


	8. Waking Up in Vegas

**Author's Note: **And here is where things change in this fic. No more crappy subplot.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

The next day, Nami decided to walk home from school alone. She needed her alone time, even though she wanted to spend her walk home with Luffy like how they've been doing the past few days.

"_Hmm... What should I do this week? It's spring break, so, naturally, it should be spent with friends and not with Sanji. But, then again, loose lips sink ships, so I guess I may have to see Sanji sometime this week_," Nami thought to herself before she entered her house. "I'm home!"

Sanji hopped out from behind the couch.

"Nami-swan!" Sanji cried as he leaped to Nami. Robin grabbed Sanji by the scruff of his collar.

"Speak of the devil! I was just thinking about you, Sanji!" Nami commented. "What brings you here?"

"You, of course!" Sanji answered. Nami sighed. "Oi, why are you so serious?"

"It's nothing, Sanji," Nami lied. Sanji hugged Nami.

"Tell Sanji what's wrong, Nami," Sanji requested. Nami calmly pushed Sanji off of her.

"No, really, what are you guys doing here?" Nami asked the two sophisticated guys. Sanji sighed.

"It's a disaster. Two friends of mine who are visiting from Boston were supposed to go with Robin and me to Vegas this weekend, but they ate some bad shellfish and got sick. So, will you go in their place?" Sanji asked Nami, who thought this over.

"You must have some ulterior motives. What are you planning?" Nami asked Sanji, who sighed.

"Nothing, Nami-sawn. It's just a freakin' vacation, okay? Nojiko even said you could go," Sanji explained. Nami sighed.

"Okay, I'll go. But, you ARE NOT taking me to a wedding chapel or to get a marriage license, okay?" Nami explained. Sanji screamed like a fangirl.

"Thank you, Nami-swan!" Sanji squealed.

* * *

That night, Sanji, Robin, and Nami arrived in Vegas and checked into their suite at the Mandarain Oriential.

"Alright, where are we going to eat?" Sanji asked. Both Sanji and Robin were dressed formally, and Nami was still in jeans and a T-shirt.

"*Sigh*... Can it please be something simple? I didn't even pack anything nice," Nami asked the two with a sigh.

"Something simple?! Are you crazy?! This is Las Vegas!" Sanji cried.

"No, really, Sanji, I just don't want to go anywhere fancy. I just want to go somewhere casual, like McDonald's," Nami explained. Sanji facepalmed.

"I think we should let Nami go to McDonald's. I think we should let her do what she wants on this trip. Nami is GETTING MARRIED to you after all, Sanji," Robin pointed out. Nami smiled.

"Thank you, Robin. What time should I be back?" Nami asked Robin.

"Don't worry about it. You stay out for as long as you need, but don't stay out TOO long," Robin explained. Nami grabbed her hotel key and exited the hotel room.

"Bye, guys, I'll see you later!" Nami said before she left. A few minutes later, Nami was eating at a McDonald's nearby.

"Hmmm... Better call everyone to tell them why I suddenly went AWOL," Nami said to herself as she pulled out her phone. Back in L.A., Heathcliffe was getting dressed for a date he was going on with Aki.

"Bro, phone's for you," Holden said as he came into the room with Heathcliffe's cell phone. Heathcliffe grabbed the phone and put it up to his ear.

"Hello?" Heathcliffe asked.

"_Hey, Heathcliffe, I know this may sound weird, but... I'm in Vegas right now_," Nami said.

"Vegas? How the hell were you able to go to Vegas so quickly?" Heathcliffe asked Nami.

"_Well, Sanji begged me to go since his friends got sick. I'm really not sure what to think of this. Is it a proxy date, or is Sanji THAT DESPERATE to marry me?_" Nami asked Heathcliffe.

"Well... Does it sound like Sanji wants to marry you?" Heathcliffe asked Nami.

"_I told him 'no wedding chapels', so I should be fine_," Nami explained.

"I see... Anyway, you sound lonely. Mind if I stay on the line to talk to you?" Heathcliffe asked Nami.

"_Why not? I'm sitting alone in a McDonald's in Las Vegas. Of course, you can stay on the line_," Nami explained. "_So, anyway, what are you doing right now?_"

"I'm getting ready to go on a date with Aki," Heathcliffe explained. "We're going to the Baratie."

"_Aww! You are a sweet boyfriend, Heath -_" Nami cooed before she realized what Heathcliffe just said. "_Did you just say you're going to Baratie?! Heathcliffe, you know better! That's Sanji's restaurant!_"

"He's not there, Nami! He can't hit on Aki if he's hundreds of miles away in Vegas! Although... I look hotter and sexier than Sanji right now," Heathcliffe explained. Nami laughed.

"_Oh, Heathcliffe. You're missing out on Vegas. The Killers and Panic! At the Disco came from Vegas, you know_," Nami explained.

"I know that, Nami. I wish I could -" Heathcliffe explained before Soren poked his head in the room.

"Bro, Aki's here," Soren said. Heathcliffe sighed.

"I'll call you back, Nami. Have fun," Heathcliffe said before he hung up. Back in Vegas...

"Thanks a lot, Heathcliffe. Now I have nobody to talk to," Nami huffed as she dialed another number.

"_You've reached the Dadan residence. We're not home, so leave us a message, and - Ace, get your ass up! You just woke up!_"

Nami sighed.

"Hey, Luffy, call me back, okay? Somehow, I ended up in Vegas with Sanji. Don't ask, I'll explain everything later," Nami recorded before she hung up. "Man, where are you, Luffy?!"

Back in Los Angeles, Luffy and Usopp were playing mini-golf.

"Hey, Luffy, where'd Nami go? I saw her in History class, but she disappeared after that," Usopp asked Luffy.

"Huh. I don't know. You think Sanji took her to get married?" Luffy suggested.

"I doubt it," Usopp answered as he hit his ball, which landed in a pond. "Damn it, Luffy! Look what you made me do!"

* * *

The next morning, Nami awoke, staring up at the ceiling.

"_Where am I? Oh, yeah, I just HAD TO go to Vegas with Sanji and Robin_," Nami thought to herself as she reached over to her phone, where three voicemails awaited her. The first one was a simple one from Luffy.

"_Hey, Nami, you're in Vegas?! Cooooool! Bring me back stuff, okay?!_"

Nami laughed, seeing as though she bought gifts for everyone. Nami played the second message, which was from Heathcliffe.

"_Nami? It's me, Heathcliffe. The date with Aki went wonderful. It was so romantic. Anyway, call me back if you're not at a wedding chapel right now - Oh, wait, call me if you are at a wedding chapel, then my brothers and I will board the first plane we can find to Las Vegas so we can kick Sanji's ass, take names, and see a famous rock band at the House of Blues._"

Nami laughed harder as she scrolled down to her final message, which was from Vivi.

"_Nami, how the hell did you wind up in Las Vegas?! You'd better call me back with an explanation!_"

A few feet away, Sanji groaned in his sleep. Looking around, Nami turned off her phone and put it back on the nightstand.

* * *

**Ending Note: Review if you want to see a plot twist involving Sanji and Nami's engagement.**


	9. There's a Fine, Fine Line

**Author's Note: **Well, if you read **One Piece: Parallel Works**, you know about my issues with my laptop and how I ended up with a new one. This is why this chapter is late.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

After breakfast, Robin had something to tell Nami.

"Sanji and I need some alone time together. Why don't you go out for now, and we'll call you when we're going to join you?" Robin suggested.

"Fine by me. When do you think you're going to join me?" Nami asked.

"Sometime around this afternoon," Sanji answered. "Just go out and enjoy yourself."

"Okay then..." Nami said with a sigh as she grabbed her bag. "I'll see you soon."

* * *

"That'll be $25."

Currently, Nami was shopping in a store on the Strip, but she couldn't find her wallet.

"_Damn it! How did I leave my wallet in the room?!_" Nami thought to herself as she looked around her bag for her wallet. "Excuse me, do you mind if you hold my purcahses? I need to go get my wallet."

"Go right ahead," The store clerk said before Nami ran off. A few minutes of running and standing in an elevator later, Nami arrived at her hotel room.

"Finally... I might want to rest up for a bit before leaving..." Nami said as she entered the room and grabbed her wallet. But, before she could leave, she heard strange sounds coming from the bedroom.

"Cook-san... Cook-san..."

Nami took a quick glimpse into the bedroom. However, that proved to be a grave mistake, since Nami was now staring at a naked Sanji on top of Robin. Mentally scarred, Nami silently left the room and headed to the elevators in a panic.

"_Oh, my God! I just caught my fianceé in bed with his best friend! Why is this happening?!_" Nami thought to herself as she got out her phone and dialed the first number that came to mind - Luffy's number.

* * *

"No, Luffy. Following Zoro means getting hopelessly lost and ending up in a bad neighborhood after dark. And, yes, that happened to us before. All we wanted to do was go to the Target down the street for some chips and soda for a party, and we almost ended up getting shot by some guy in a feathery pimp coat who called himself 'Donquixote Doflamingo'."

Currently, Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp were wandering the streets of L.A., looking for something to do.

"Where are we, Usopp? Did Zoro get us lost?" Luffy asked Usopp.

"I didn't get you guys lost! I found you those restrooms when you needed them earlier!" Zoro yelled.

"They were in a sketchy area of town, Zoro. Didn't you see that hobo who looked like my dad harass me for a hundred dollars in 'tax collection'?" Usopp asked Zoro.

"Oh, that was just Yasopp on a bad day!" Zoro argued.

"Zoro, my dad took a shower, brushed his teeth, and shaved today. He planned to stay home today and play pool with Shanks-sensei, Lucky Roux, and Beckmann-sensei," Usopp explained.

"How do we know he wasn't lying?" Zoro asked as the three stopped at a crosswalk.

"Because he was putting snacks and drinks out for his friends when I left the house!" Usopp argued as the three crossed the street. Then, Luffy's cell phone went off. Luffy reached for it, but Zoro slapped his hand.

"Oi, watch where you're walking," Zoro warned.

"Look who's talking," Usopp said under his breath as they got onto the sidewalk. Luffy pulled out his phone, right when Nami was leaving her message.

"_I know this may sound crazy, but I walked in on Sanji and Robin having sex! I don't know what to do -_"

Usopp grabbed Luffy's phone and tried to cover the speaker with his thumb.

"Woah. TMI, Luffy," Usopp said. "Turn your phone volume down next time."

Usopp handed the phone back to Luffy, who pocketed it.

"Wait... Did Nami just say that Sanji was having sex with Robin?" Zoro asked. Luffy and Usopp stopped in their tracks.

"What?!" Luffy and Usopp cried. A few minutes later, the three were huddled in the back booth of a busy restaurant, replaying Nami's message.

"_Luffy, are you there?! I need to tell you something urgent. I know this may sound crazy, but I walked in on Sanji and Robin having sex! I don't know what to do about this! Call me back, and don't you dare tell anyone else about this!_"

"Well, she didn't tell us what would happen if Usopp and I accidentally eavesdropped," Zoro pointed out. Usopp sighed as he took a sip from his soda.

"What are we going to do?" Usopp asked his two friends.

"Let's go to Heathcliffe!" Luffy suggested.

"Luffy, what good would that do? Nami just said in the message that we can't tell anybody about this. Plus, there's a chance that she already spoke to Heathcliffe about it," Usopp explained.

"How about Kazuma and Yuki-Rin?" Luffy suggested.

"Over my dead body!" Zoro cried.

"Vivi?"

"Nami probably talked to Vivi, too."

"Tashigi?"

"Sick with food poisoning."

"Bonney and Law?"

"Went to Portland, Oregon, for spring break."

"Aki?"

"Why would we ask her?"

"How about your dad, Usopp?"

"Luffy, I don't think my dad would be willing to help a bunch of teenagers in regards to the sex life of a friend's fianceé."

"Ace and Sabo?"

"Why do you want to pull your brothers into this?!" Zoro cried. "And, besides, Nami's coming home tomorrow."

Zoro's cell phone then rang.

"Talk to me. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, we'll come pick you up. What time? Sounds like a reasonable time. See you then."

Zoro hung up.

"That was Nami. She said that she's not feeling well, and she's coming home early. We're picking her up."

* * *

**Ending Note: Review if you want to see Nami again. Or Heathcliffe, if you're a girl.**


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